Smartphones, social media and parental responsibility

This article was first published by Evangelicals Now on 9 February 2026.

It seems that the topic of smartphones and social media for children is now part of the cultural conversation.

The UK government recently announced a consultation on banning social media for all children under 16 – something already happening in Australia.

At the same time, there is new guidance about banning smartphones in schools.

Meanwhile, in the USA, a group of social media companies (including TikTok, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat) have been sued by a 20-year-old woman on account of the mental health harm caused by their content and algorithms.

A step, not a solution

I think there is a growing awareness among parents of the dangers posed to their children by both smartphones and social media – and so there might well be enough support for a social media ban.

However, even if such a ban were to come into effect, it would be difficult to define what constitutes social media. In the ever-changing online landscape, such sites can easily pop up anywhere, including within gaming. It is also likely many kids will get around a ban with technological solutions for fooling or bypassing the restrictions.

It is to one’s honour to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel.
Proverbs 20v3

Many Christians argue that social media “tilts the slope” away from Biblical principles as it preys on our tendencies toward self-indulgence and impatience to speak rather than listen (James 1v19). Like the rest of the internet, it can often draw us into the spectacle of arguments, salacious gossip or semi-clad people, both real and AI.

Social media is addictive by design, and the content is usually educational but not often edifying.

And there is certainly more danger to children who are developing social skills and are less likely to have the tools to regulate their behaviour. We all know that it’s hard enough navigating teenage friendships in real life, let alone in the online hothouse.

The additional dangerous option of relationships with AI chatbots also sets an unhelpful expectation that we deserve constant affirmation, while the constant notifications and related dopamine hits damage our capacity for boredom and our ability to concentrate.

All this would suggest that the best answer is for parents and the state to work together to ban technological devices that connect to any social media. But is this really the answer?

As we seek to make decisions in our families and to engage with the government, here are a couple of areas to reflect on.

Parental responsibility versus state intervention

As Christians, we want to uphold the clear Biblical teaching that parents should bring their children up in the “training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6v4). Parents are to be responsible for providing for, educating and protecting their children. Parents need to protect their children from dangers that they are too young to engage with sensibly, whether that is crossing the road or drinking alcohol. And, of course, as parents, we ourselves need to be mature enough to do those things wisely. Moreover, even as we protect our children, we also want to equip them so that they are prepared for the day when they no longer hold our hands.

In the area of social media, I suggest that parents are the best placed to make decisions about how, if at all, their children interact with it.

This comes with a caveat – because we must also recognise that the community is charged with speaking up for the vulnerable (Proverbs 31v8) and that the state can and should exercise its power of the sword (Romans 13v4).

For example, the state has a clear duty and a right to intervene in cases of child abuse and neglect.

Advocating for parents and creating good laws about social media might also be a legitimate state activity. This could be particularly important in helping to change perceptions of social media so that it becomes more acceptable for more children and young people to opt out, rather than feeling compelled to engage with it in order to have any chance at relating to their peers.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12v2

However, as Christians, we should be wary of the secular state reaching further into family life.

There is always the possibility of “mission creep” where the state takes over the role of the parent. I would suggest the tendency over the last decades has been much more in this direction. This is often with the consent of parents, who are happy for the state to educate, entertain, shape and form our children whilst they focus on other things.

I have heard many parents expressing their sense of helplessness over smartphones and social media and wanting the state to accomplish what they feel unable to do. And yet the state – and especially the secular state – does not have a good record of making moral judgements. (For example, the state may recognise pornography’s harm to children but assume it is a universal good, or at least morally neutral, for adults.)

Trusting the state to make good choices about our children using social media is dubious.

Parental rules versus parental example

Every parent needs to engage directly with this topic and then develop some strategies – it’s all part of loving your children.

You need to think how you can operate restraints and guardrails and decide how you prepare your children for adult life with their tech devices. It’s as important as teaching them to cross a road safely or to approach alcohol wisely.

Part of taking our responsibilities seriously is to model better behaviour with our smart devices. As a parent and grandparent, I know that I am often not acting out those principles I am commending to others. I need to work harder at being disciplined with my own smart devices and with my own social media engagement.

I realise that life is complicated where the smartphone is our mobile office, recipe book, communication device, calendar and so on. It means there are many legitimate reasons for regularly using smartphones through a normal day. Still, when we say one thing and do another, it undermines the power of the message.

We need to do better – both for ourselves, to avoid the harms we are claiming to protect our children from, and for our children, so that we model ruling over creation, not being ruled by it.

We can do better, and we must.